Crisis.

Crisis (n) - A time of intense difficulty, trouble, or danger

I have been having a lot of 'Crises' recently.

1. Where should I study abroad?
2. How do I get more out of my internship?
3. Should I quit my internship?
4. How do I get more out of my life?
5. Where do I get the motivation/inspiration to write another blog post?
6. When am I going to write that article?
7. How am I going to succeed in this world?
8. Goodness I need to stop worrying.

Believe it or not, those 8 things I listed above harrow me. On a daily, I'd even say hourly, basis. Then of course I begin to become even more stressed out because I KNOW that being stressed about what blog post to write (for example) is plain silly. And no where near what would or should be considered a crisis.

I think I have narrowed down my stress to one question: What do I want?

Now the fact that I am even posing this question to myself is quite overwhelming in itself for two reasons. First, I have always known quite exactly and specifically what I want. Always. Second, I have always been very content with my life. It is something that I have always prided myself in - knowing that little known fact that the ultimate secret to happiness is being more than content with what you have.

The thing is, I think I still am. Happy and content that it. The question is, why would I say "I think I am" and why would I pose the question "What do I want?" If I know that all this doesn't matter because all that matters is that I have my basic needs met - that I can create my happiness from anything - then why am I having these questions?

Have you ever noticed that sometimes it is incredibly easy to say something to yourself over and over again, and sometimes (the lucky times) you begin to believe it? Other times, no matter how many times you try to convince yourself something, you know that it's just not working.

Now, it really really distresses me to write this post because I honestly am happy. Now I know you probably won't believe me after reading this, but I am. Whenever I feel unhappy or uncertain or just simply  complain-y, I remind myself of the great fortune that my life is. I think about all the people that are less fortunate than me. Sadly, there are a lot them. I know that it will be very difficult to help them all get as great lives as me (though I am tying to figure out a way to!), so in my crazy head, I kind of justify my life by reminding myself to be not only thankful and grateful but also happy and content with what I have, because it just wouldn't be fair to be unhappy with everything that I have. 

I guess we all need some perspective every once in a while.