Mid...Uh Pre-Mid-Life Crisis.

As most of you know, I am studying Hotel Administration at University right now. I am studying how to manage hotels and how to work in the hospitality industry in general.

Now over winter break, I was working in the sales office of a gorgeous boutique hotel on Capitol Hill in DC.It was a really great opportunity and I learned a lot. So every day, I took the metro into the city, and I had about 2 hours on the train each day to think/read/do whatever. One day, I had a paralyzing crisis. I realized that I wanted nothing to do with hotels. Or sales. Or anything. I realized that I find the whole hotel industry very fake and shallow. Everyone acts as though what they are doing is the most important thing in the world when really, we're just selling hotel rooms. We aren't saving lives or anything! The crisis was paralyzing because I have worked my whole life until now to enter the hospitality industry, so I kind of wouldn't know what to do if I left the hotel school.

So I was having this thought process, and naturally, the first thing I did was call my mom. haha. After talking to her, and calming down, I realized that I do not need to switch my major, hate hotels, or do anything drastic. I realized that I can use the skills I am learning in the hotel school to do what I want to do. I also realized that I didn't really hate sales that much, I guess I was just having a bad day. I realized that hotels, though they don't really help the public (in the wise words of my roommate, if I enter hotels, I will be "helping the people who can pay me"), they are a necessity. People will always need hotels, and it is possible to run a hotel without being fake and shallow (I hope!) 

The next question was, well if not hotels, what do I want to do? First thought that came to mind (no lie): I would love to have J.J.'s job on Criminal Minds. (If you do not know what I am talking about, go watch an old episode of Criminal Minds. NOW.) So then I did a bunch of research and self-reflection. I thought a lot. And this is what I came up with:

1. My life is too selfish
2. I want to help more people than just the ones who can pay me
3. I really would like to help children 
4. I want to do something in community service (if not long term, then at least for a summer or something)
5. I need to appreciate everything I have more. 
6. I am very self-centered. Even this blog post (and most of mine), are about me.
7. I want to write

So since I am a planner, I like to have a plan of action. I now knew what I wanted. I wanted to use my hotel/business/communication/writing skills to help people. Then the idea came to me. I would love to do Public Relations for a non-profit. Most importantly, anything I do, I want to write. And out rolled the applications. Mission accomplished.

Cool thing for today: 

Watch from 8:35 - 8:43. This is what JJ does. She is PR person for the team. She is the liaison between the media and the victims families, she puts together the cases, and she coordinates things for the team.

-T

Work.

Ok, as I started writing this post, I was just writing what came to mind, and pretty soon, I realized that I am being a bit of an existentialist at first....be warned. haha


So I am doing this internship. It's a really great opportunity for me, and let's be honest, it keeps me from getting bored during break. (you knew the big but was coming) BUT today, I worked a 10 hour day (not including a 2 hour commute). And I couldn't help wondering: Why? Why did I stay those extra hours to get everything done. I am certainly not getting paid enough to. The more I thought of it, the less I could come up with a sufficient answer other than "I just couldn't leave it" and "It's the way I am" and "Those things needed to get done" oh and "It would be wrong to not finish". Now, before I continue, I want to be clear, none of those things I just said are untrue, they just aren't really a good enough explanation as to why I put in the extra effort. Eventually, I starting thinking about "Why am I doing this" Then I am going to start thinking about "Why am I doing anything?" Ok so this Internship will help me get a good job later (hopefully). So the good job helps me to buy some nice things and lead a comfortable life. So the comfortable life feels...well, comfortable. It just feels like I could keep going and going.

Then I kept thinking, and I thought, "Well, let's face it, I am never going to figure out 'why', so I may as well just  do what I am supposed to, live my life the best I can and be as happy as I can" I know. how cliche of me. I realized that there is nothing that I am "supposed to figure out". Things happen. I can control some of them. I can't control others. Oh well.

The biggest question that comes to mind when writing this (I know. I am full of questions. I should just be a 5 year old) is this: how many other people are asking the same questions as me and how many of them are coming to the same conclusions? I guess that's one thing I'll never know.....

Cool thing for today:

NANCY DREW COMPUTER GAMES!

They are  AWESOME! Please play them. I am playing a really fun one right now. You solve puzzles and mysteries! It's supppeeerrrr fun :)

A link for you: http://www.herinteractive.com/index.php

 And a picture :)

That's all folks!!!

PS - Props to whoever got the Gossip Girl reference

PPS - ALSO Tell me what you think of the new layout!!!!

Ok really. That's all!